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What are the best Jewish jokes?

07.06.2025 03:09

What are the best Jewish jokes?

And the priest thinks for a minute and then says:”Hmm, this is very serious my son, and there are a number of grave sins involved, so I’m not quite sure where to start. But let’s go with the basics: How long has it been since your last confession?”

So the priest says:” Well if you’re not Catholic, why are you in here telling me all this?”

And the man says : “Are you kidding me? I’m telling everyone.”

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

I’m not sure if this one qualifies but I’ll tell it anyway.

the man replies: “Oh, I’ve never been to confession, I’m actually Jewish.”

So a priests starts the confession and the man in the booth says “Father, I wanted to tell you, I’m 65 years old and last night, at the bar, I met two beautiful young 21 year old college girls. We talked a bit, drank a bit and one thing led to another and we ended up back at my place where the three of us stayed up all night drinking and having wild, uninhibited sex. “

Can they start feeding only one meal to prisoners on death row or those doing a life sentence? Because only then will it be real punishment. If they want extra food they can work or pay from their own pocket.